H olmes & Watson isn't so much a movie as a monsoon of limp, slimy jokes that plop to the ground like that storm of toads in Magnolia. The actors fidget…
C amp Death III in 2D! clumps every moldering horror cliché into one cinematic spitwad and chucks it at the screen. For 80 minutes, it slowly slimes downward, leaving a…
A Madea Family Funeral filled me with a sense of grief. Not because it takes 100 minutes of my life and sends it clunking and sputtering down a garbage disposal, although…
I walked into Serenity with only the knowledge I could glean from the movie's poster. Somehow, I walked out of the theater with even less knowledge. Not only about the…
A s I suffered through the wretchedness of rewatching Batman and Robin, a visual metaphor popped in my head: The grainy footage of man's first failed attempts at flight. You've…
"Y ou can't understand someone until you've seen the world through their eyes," Kirk Cameron tells us during Saving Christmas's mawkish opening narration. If nothing else, this film offers a…
The most disturbing thing about this movie resides in the fact that somebody somewhere thought it was a good idea to make it. I picture a mulleted movie executive in…
No sense in dancing around it: This movie sucks deep-fried donkeys. The cinematography makes the Zapruder film look like Trip to Bountiful. The monotonic soundtrack conjures the image of a…
Plan 9 occupies such rarified air atop the summit of bad cinema that to analyze it represents an intimidating prospect. It is, in fact, an anomalous presence in movie history—a richly…
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