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Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris (2022)::rating::4

I f you can watch this movie and not be at least a little ensorcelled by it, I'll wager you're too preoccupied with stealing Christmas presents from Whoville.  Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris speaks to the part of us that still holds hope for fairy tales and miracles--that even the Grinchiest among us can manage…

Bullet Train (2022)::rating::2.5

B ullet Train takes the squib-splattering mayhem of Quentin Tarantino and mashes it up with the physics of Wile E. Coyote and the soundtrack of an overserved Japanese karaoke bar.  Add Brad Pitt in front of a solid cast, and the result should be a much better movie than what we have here.  Instead of…

Pinocchio (2022)::rating::2.5

O kay, everyone.  Let's get the rant over with:  In recent years, Disney has taken one beloved title after another, blown off the dust, and dry-humped each one until more money fell out.  The new Aladdin was an ungainly farce.  The Lion King--which, by my math, cost $33,000 per second--shamelessly xeroxed the original, right down to the…

Beast (2022)::rating::2.5

B east is a B-movie, built on the chassis of a much better and more ambitious production.  It's got hunky Idris Elba punching a lion right in the jaw.  It's got Sharlto Copley, that great actor from District 9, looking like he's ready to hunt velociraptors.  Listen to the dialogue a little too carefully, and you…

Three Thousand Years of Longing (2022)::rating::4

I'll tell you right out--I'm a man who likes talking to a man who likes to talk." Sydney Greenstreet in The Maltese Falcon T hat quote popped in my head during Three Thousand Years of Longing, as the film centers on two people hungry for dialogue.  Over the course of two hours, stories become their currency.  Alithea (Tilda…

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