Alita: Battle Angel (2019)::rating::3.5::rating::3.5::rating::3.5

All the expansive world-building in Alita: Battle Angel stands as the film's greatest strength and its greatest weakness. James Cameron (co-writer/producer) and Robert Rodriguez (director) deliver a sprawling, digital landscape that boggles the mind in both its grandeur and intensive attention to every last visual detail. Story-wise, so much table-setting happens in this movie that it…

ByTodd WoffordFebruary 15, 20190Comments

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Isn’t It Romantic (2019)::rating::3.5

A s I watched Isn't It Romantic, my thoughts drifted to Leonard Maltin's review of a 1948 film of the same name. Maltin set the Guinness World Record for the shortest review with just one word: "No." I may not have Maltin's gift for succinctness, but I think I could boil my opinion of this movie down…

ByTodd WoffordFebruary 15, 20190Comments

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Cinemavino – Episode 10 – The Stanley Tucci Chronicles::rating::0

I t's another week, another treat as Taylor Owens joins us for a Very Special Episode of Cinemavino. For this trip aboard the Crazy Train, we discuss our favorite Valentine's Day movies and drink a little Rosê and a bottle of bubbly. Once again, our new Scooby gang veers off on a few wild tangents:…

ByTodd WoffordFebruary 14, 20190Comments

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What Men Want (2019)::rating::2

W hat Men Want was built to be a spiritual successor to Mel Gibson's What Women Want, so it's not surprising when both films make many of the same mistakes. For those lucky enough to forget, What Women Want depicted a dickweed ad executive who harbored a cluelessly condescending attitude toward the women around him. The movie then imbues…

ByTodd WoffordFebruary 12, 20190Comments

The Drink Menu The Podcast

Cinemavino – Episode 9: Artisanal Cottage Cheese::rating::0

For this week's episode, my good friend Taylor Owens comes aboard as we discuss our favorite "second movies." These could be standalone sequels or installments in a larger franchise, but either way, we found quite a few. Fair warning, things get pretty silly pretty quickly. To pair with our conversation, we drink Yardstick Cabernet, by Goldschmidt…

ByTodd WoffordFebruary 9, 20190Comments

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Cold Pursuit (2019)::rating::2.5

S ince the dawn of Charles Bronson's days as a leading man, Hollywood has made a mint on the trope of a mumbly, barrel-chested dad with everything to lose. The people he loves get killed or maimed, transforming our hero into a squib-splattering instrument of vigilante justice. Thugs with poor hygiene get mowed down in…

ByTodd WoffordFebruary 8, 20190Comments

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Serenity (2019)::rating::0.5

I walked into Serenity with only the knowledge I could glean from the movie's poster. Somehow, I walked out of the theater with even less knowledge. Not only about the movie, but about life in general. As the idiotic plot twists and atrocious dialogue soaked into my brain, I lost around 40 IQ points. Suddenly,…

ByTodd WoffordFebruary 7, 20192Comments

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Table Manners (2018)::rating::3.5

I grew up on a ranch, and I can still remember the fires that would sweep through almost every spring. The bluestem grass, the walnut trees, and the oaken corner posts were all left scorched and smoldering. But an amazing thing always happened: Rejuvenation. Green grass would sprout through the soot, singed tree branches…

ByTodd WoffordFebruary 5, 20190Comments

The Drink Menu The Podcast

Cinemavino, Episode 8: Too Many Captains on this Island::rating::0

For this episode, Travis and I drink the wine that made us love wine and discuss the movies that made us love movies. This week's vino is a Cabernet from Requiem Winery, located in Washington's beautiful Columbia Valley. *It turns out "De-Lovely" is Cole Porter and not Bobby Darin. Wine's a hell of a drug.

ByTodd WoffordJanuary 30, 20190Comments

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Stan & Ollie (2018)::rating::4

S omewhere, embedded within the raucous, irresistible comedy of the Three Stooges, the Marx Brothers, and Laurel and Hardy, lies a parable about the bond of brotherhood. Through the daredevil shenanigans and harebrained schemes, a real love was palpable. Laurel and Hardy may not have been related by blood, but they completed each other like…

ByTodd WoffordJanuary 28, 20192Comments