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Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)::rating::0::rating::0::rating::0
  It’s full D&D porn, as Big Bad Sauron brings his Orcs, Men, and mammoths to bear on Middle Earth. Jackson builds impeccable spectacle--the Battle of Pelennor Fields is relentlessly exciting, and the players match the technical perfection, especially Mortensen as the titular king. Unfortunately, the soufflé collapses in the epilogue, where we get endless Hobbit giggles and…
Plan 9 From Outer Space::rating::0
  Plan 9 occupies such rarified air atop the summit of bad cinema that to analyze it represents an intimidating prospect.  It is, in fact, an anomalous presence in movie history—a richly textured masterpiece of aggressive incompetence that somehow manages to be laughable and poignant, lazy yet strangely ambitious. Its auteur, Ed Wood, styled himself as a sci-fi…

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