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What Men Want (2019)
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What Men Want (2019)::rating::2
W hat Men Want was built to be a spiritual successor to Mel Gibson's What Women Want, so it's not surprising when both films make many of the same mistakes.  For those lucky enough to forget, What Women Want depicted a dickweed ad executive who harbored a cluelessly condescending attitude toward the women around him.  The movie then imbues…
February 12, 20190Comments
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Cold Pursuit (2019)::rating::2.5
S ince the dawn of Charles Bronson's days as a leading man, Hollywood has made a mint on the trope of a mumbly, barrel-chested dad with everything to lose.  The people he loves get killed or maimed, transforming our hero into a squib-splattering instrument of vigilante justice.  Thugs with poor hygiene get mowed down in…
February 8, 20190Comments
Serenity Now!
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Serenity (2019)::rating::0.5
I walked into Serenity with only the knowledge I could glean from the movie's poster.  Somehow, I walked out of the theater with even less knowledge.  Not only about the movie, but about life in general.  As the idiotic plot twists and atrocious dialogue soaked into my brain, I lost around 40 IQ points.  Suddenly,…
February 7, 20192Comments
Table Manners
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Table Manners (2018)::rating::3.5
I grew up on a ranch, and I can still remember the fires that would sweep through almost every spring.  The bluestem grass, the walnut trees, and the oaken corner posts were all left scorched and smoldering.  But an amazing thing always happened:  Rejuvenation.  Green grass would sprout through the soot, singed tree branches…
February 5, 20190Comments
Stan & Ollie
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Stan & Ollie (2018)::rating::4
S omewhere, embedded within the raucous, irresistible comedy of the Three Stooges, the Marx Brothers, and Laurel and Hardy, lies a parable about the bond of brotherhood.  Through the daredevil shenanigans and harebrained schemes, a real love was palpable.  Laurel and Hardy may not have been related by blood, but they completed each other like…
January 28, 20192Comments

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