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Morbius (2022)::rating::1
M orbius achieves a rare double feat:  Over the course of its punishing 104 minutes, Daniel Espinosa's middling, piddling vampire epic manages to be glum, but without any dramatic heft.  At the same time, it's also groin-punchingly preposterous, but without a single ounce of kitschy fun.  If good movies offer something for everyone, then Morbius serves up…
April 1, 20220Comments
Greatest The Archive
Cannonball Run II (1984)::rating::5
W hen Cannonball Run II smashed into theaters, the world simply wasn't ready for it.  "Sheer arrogance made this picture," Roger Ebert noted, with extreme prejudice.  And he's not wrong:  Hal Needham's car-crash spectacular has all the elements of a vanity project gone haywire.  Many scenes feel like Smokey and the Bandit crossed with Hollywood Squares, with a…
April 1, 20220Comments
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The Adam Project (2022)::rating::3
M odern filmmakers borrow so much from Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, and Robert Zemeckis, I'm beginning to wonder if they've worked out some kinda payment plan for the royalties.  Either that, or the studios figure our collective itch for the nostalgia of E.T., Goonies, and Back to the Future is so strong, they might scratch it with another big-budget homage.…
March 30, 20220Comments
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Deep Water (2022)::rating::2
T wo completely different movies live within the soul of Deep Water, and both of them are bad:  On the one level, director Adrian Lyne (Fatal Attraction, Indecent Proposal) delivers a humid, trashy dime store thriller, where a good-looking cast throws pouty tantrums and engages in thoroughly mechanical lovemaking.  Dive further into the film's allegedly deep water,…
March 28, 20220Comments
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Turning Red (2022)::rating::4
T urning Red immediately took my mind to Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret, the classic young adult novel by Judy Blume.  That book was a frank, poignant tale of the emotional and hormonal difficulties of a girl becoming a woman.  Because it key plot points involved Margaret getting her first period and trying to…
March 25, 20220Comments
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Zodiac (2007)::rating::4
D avid Fincher's Zodiac effectively encapsulates the massive manhunt for the serial killer who terrorized the San Francisco Bay Area from the 60s through the late 70s.  His theatrical villainy would seem borne out of a dime store comic if it weren't so hideously real:  Aside from his random acts of butchery, the Zodiac drew a…
March 22, 20220Comments
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Rounders (1998)::rating::4
I n his review, Roger Ebert compared Rounders to Rocky, and it's certainly apropos:  Over the course of the film, poker player Mike McDermott (Matt Damon) gets demolished in a high-stakes game, staggers away in humiliation, and slowly hones his talent for one last shot at the title.  At the same time, Rounders also sent my mind to Bull Durham,…
March 15, 20220Comments

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