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Moonfall (2022)::rating::2.5
M oonfall dwells in a weird limbo of mediocrity.  I wish the script could've been a notch smarter, or else ten times dumber.  The special effects might've been sharpened up a bit, or rendered hilariously incompetent.  This talented cast could've been given some, you know, decent dialogue.  Otherwise, they should've just farmed these roles out…
Marry Me (2022)::rating::3
M ovies like Marry Me ignite a battle within my soul.  The cynical side of my personality wants to bash this thing with a tire iron, as I scream how dopey, dippy, and utterly ri-goddam-diculous it is.  But go beyond my snarky outer shell, and you'll find that I'm basically one of those oversized teddy bears…
The Sandlot::rating::3.5
I t’s a fascinating irony that The Sandlot began as an exercise in deep nostalgia.  From its twinkly narration to the hoppin’ oldies on the soundtrack, the entire film is meant to evoke what was–for some–a simpler time, along with the guileless joys of being a child.  Now, almost three decades after its release, children of the…
Morbius (2022)::rating::1
M orbius achieves a rare double feat:  Over the course of its punishing 104 minutes, Daniel Espinosa's middling, piddling vampire epic manages to be glum, but without any dramatic heft.  At the same time, it's also groin-punchingly preposterous, but without a single ounce of kitschy fun.  If good movies offer something for everyone, then Morbius serves up…
Cannonball Run II (1984)::rating::5
W hen Cannonball Run II smashed into theaters, the world simply wasn't ready for it.  "Sheer arrogance made this picture," Roger Ebert noted, with extreme prejudice.  And he's not wrong:  Hal Needham's car-crash spectacular has all the elements of a vanity project gone haywire.  Many scenes feel like Smokey and the Bandit crossed with Hollywood Squares, with a…

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