Mission: Impossible — Dead Reckoning Part One (2023)::rating::4::rating::4::rating::4

S even movies in, the Mission: Impossible franchise has officially overtaken the 007 series for audacious, indulgent action spectacle. Of course, they'll never match the quantity of Bond films (unless Tom Cruise decides to live another forty years), but their quality is now the gold-standard for burly, brainy tentpole flicks. Also unmatched is Cruise's steely, batshit resolve…

ByTodd WoffordOctober 13, 20230Comments

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Friday the 13th (1980)::rating::3

A s with many other influential movies, Friday the 13th carries the weight of everything it has inspired: We're talking sequels, a prequel series, reboots, and retcons, ripoffs, and rehashes. Along that journey, Jason Voorhees has been to Hell, Manhattan, Elm Street, and outer space. You can also spot obvious homages within the Scream and Scary Movie franchises. All that…

ByTodd WoffordOctober 11, 20230Comments

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023)::rating::4

I can't decide if I'm the best person to write this review, or the worst. As a plucky young child, I saw the original Ninja Turtles flicks in the theater and rented them on video. The NES video game was my favorite to rent at Showbiz Video--even if it was hard as hell. (Yes, kids--I can…

ByTodd WoffordOctober 6, 20230Comments

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RoboCop (1987)::rating::4

I ronically, sci-fi movies offer a fascinating time capsule, a snapshot to the future we once anticipated. In particular, 80s flicks looked to the horizon and saw an ugly world, slathered with graffiti and rife with the corruption of millionaires and billionaires. They were cautionary tales, high-tech parables about how the crass consumerism and disposable…

ByTodd WoffordOctober 4, 20230Comments

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Dredd (2012)::rating::4

A s with its main character, Dredd moves at a breakneck pace. For 95 minutes, we bound from one bloody, explosive action scene to the next, until the kinetic force of the film almost grows exhausting. Amazingly, Dredd manages to sneak in meaningful exposition and ambitious points about the dangers of instant judgment. The result is…

ByTodd WoffordSeptember 26, 20230Comments

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Battle Royale (2000)::rating::3

I t's no surprise Quentin Tarantino named Battle Royale as his favorite movie released since 2000. Brazen, brilliant, and unabashedly frenetic, this film feels like a cinematic cousin to his own oeuvre. And much like QT, the makers behind Royale pull from countless influences to create something new and weirdly beautiful: The savagery of Lord of the…

ByTodd WoffordSeptember 20, 20230Comments

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The Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023)::rating::2.5

T he Last Voyage of the Demeter offers a mild dose of entertainment, provided you can accept two conditions: It is only one leg of a larger voyage, and both the origin and destination are far more compelling. As such, this tidbit will offer you little to care about. If you’re down…

ByTodd WoffordSeptember 18, 20230Comments

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Legend (1986)::rating::2.5

T wo battles rage throughout Ridley Scott's Legend: On one front, the forces of purity duke it out with the belching, gurgling minions of evil. Meanwhile, on a macro level, the entire film is an epic showdown between the brilliant and the blah. Visually, Scott's bizarre, audacious fantasy is a wondrous achievement. Jaw-dropping makeup and prosthetics…

ByTodd WoffordSeptember 13, 20230Comments

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No Hard Feelings (2023)::rating::3

N o Hard Feelings carefully follows the template of modern cinematic comedy: Raunchy and skeezy on the outside, but with a gooey, sweet filling in the middle. Its protagonist is a lost soul, adrift and flailing in the Sea of Adulthood. This is the filmic build Judd Apatow wishes he could patent. In that case,…

ByTodd WoffordSeptember 9, 20230Comments

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Bloodsport (1988)::rating::2.5

B loodsport stands as one of the most deliriously goofy action movies ever made, and yet every scene is soaked with a deadly seriousness. Such a combination is generally fatal, and yet this overwrought martial arts bonanza finds a way to endure. More than any movie I've yet reviewed, this one defies all description: It's…

ByTodd WoffordSeptember 6, 20230Comments