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Movie Reviews by Todd Wofford— Funny, informative movie reviews

The Archive

Nov 2023

Double Impact (1991)::rating::3::rating::3::rating::3

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." S o sayeth the Old Testament. Indeed, it turns out the best person to mold Jean-Claude Van Damme into a precise killing…

Nov 2023

The Archive The Podcast

Twins (1988)::rating::3.5

I t probably wasn't, but I like to imagine that Twins was concocted by coked-out studio executives on a beach somewhere. Slathered in sunscreen and blathering out of their minds, the…

Oct 2023

The Archive The Podcast

The Crow (1994)::rating::3.5

T he Crow will be forever defined by the tragedy that occured during its production. On March 31st, 1993, star Brandon Lee was shot and killed on the set, the result…

Oct 2023

The Archive The Podcast

Friday the 13th (1980)::rating::3

A s with many other influential movies, Friday the 13th carries the weight of everything it has inspired: We're talking sequels, a prequel series, reboots, and retcons, ripoffs, and rehashes. Along that…

Oct 2023

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023)::rating::4

I can't decide if I'm the best person to write this review, or the worst. As a plucky young child, I saw the original Ninja Turtles flicks in the theater and…

Oct 2023

The Archive The Podcast

RoboCop (1987)::rating::4

I ronically, sci-fi movies offer a fascinating time capsule, a snapshot to the future we once anticipated. In particular, 80s flicks looked to the horizon and saw an ugly world,…

Sep 2023

The Archive The Podcast

Dredd (2012)::rating::4

A s with its main character, Dredd moves at a breakneck pace. For 95 minutes, we bound from one bloody, explosive action scene to the next, until the kinetic force of…

Sep 2023

The Archive The Podcast

Battle Royale (2000)::rating::3

I t's no surprise Quentin Tarantino named Battle Royale as his favorite movie released since 2000. Brazen, brilliant, and unabashedly frenetic, this film feels like a cinematic cousin to his own…

Sep 2023

The Archive The Podcast

Legend (1986)::rating::2.5

T wo battles rage throughout Ridley Scott's Legend: On one front, the forces of purity duke it out with the belching, gurgling minions of evil. Meanwhile, on a macro level, the…

Sep 2023

The Archive The Podcast

Bloodsport (1988)::rating::2.5

B loodsport stands as one of the most deliriously goofy action movies ever made, and yet every scene is soaked with a deadly seriousness. Such a combination is generally fatal,…

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