Morbius (2022)::rating::1::rating::1::rating::1

M orbius achieves a rare double feat: Over the course of its punishing 104 minutes, Daniel Espinosa's middling, piddling vampire epic manages to be glum, but without any dramatic heft. At the same time, it's also groin-punchingly preposterous, but without a single ounce of kitschy fun. If good movies offer something for everyone, then Morbius serves up…

ByTodd WoffordApril 1, 20220Comments

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Cannonball Run II (1984)::rating::5

W hen Cannonball Run II smashed into theaters, the world simply wasn't ready for it. "Sheer arrogance made this picture," Roger Ebert noted, with extreme prejudice. And he's not wrong: Hal Needham's car-crash spectacular has all the elements of a vanity project gone haywire. Many scenes feel like Smokey and the Bandit crossed with Hollywood Squares, with a…

ByTodd WoffordApril 1, 20220Comments

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The Adam Project (2022)::rating::3

M odern filmmakers borrow so much from Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, and Robert Zemeckis, I'm beginning to wonder if they've worked out some kinda payment plan for the royalties. Either that, or the studios figure our collective itch for the nostalgia of E.T., Goonies, and Back to the Future is so strong, they might scratch it with another big-budget homage.…

ByTodd WoffordMarch 30, 20220Comments

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The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (1966)::rating::5

T here's a moment early on in The Good, the Bad and the Ugly when Clint Eastwood's panchoed badass strolls into frame, lights a thin cigar, and scowls for the camera. In that instant of savage cool, the Monument Valley Western was forever demolished. John Wayne's false-modest bravado and Jimmy Stewart's hem-haw heroics couldn't have felt…

ByTodd WoffordMarch 29, 20220Comments

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Deep Water (2022)::rating::2

T wo completely different movies live within the soul of Deep Water, and both of them are bad: On the one level, director Adrian Lyne (Fatal Attraction, Indecent Proposal) delivers a humid, trashy dime store thriller, where a good-looking cast throws pouty tantrums and engages in thoroughly mechanical lovemaking. Dive further into the film's allegedly deep water,…

ByTodd WoffordMarch 28, 20220Comments

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Turning Red (2022)::rating::4

T urning Red immediately took my mind to Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret, the classic young adult novel by Judy Blume. That book was a frank, poignant tale of the emotional and hormonal difficulties of a girl becoming a woman. Because it key plot points involved Margaret getting her first period and trying to…

ByTodd WoffordMarch 25, 20220Comments

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Zodiac (2007)::rating::4

D avid Fincher's Zodiac effectively encapsulates the massive manhunt for the serial killer who terrorized the San Francisco Bay Area from the 60s through the late 70s. His theatrical villainy would seem borne out of a dime store comic if it weren't so hideously real: Aside from his random acts of butchery, the Zodiac drew a…

ByTodd WoffordMarch 22, 20220Comments

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Rounders (1998)::rating::4

I n his review, Roger Ebert compared Rounders to Rocky, and it's certainly apropos: Over the course of the film, poker player Mike McDermott (Matt Damon) gets demolished in a high-stakes game, staggers away in humiliation, and slowly hones his talent for one last shot at the title. At the same time, Rounders also sent my mind to Bull Durham,…

ByTodd WoffordMarch 15, 20220Comments

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Ranking the Best Picture Nominees (2021)::rating::5

W ith the Oscars fast approaching, it's time to take a closer look at the nominees. It's a boatload of fun to rank things, so let's make a list, shall we? Note: This isn't necessarily based on what I think will win Best Picture, but more how much I connected with each film. And now,…

ByTodd WoffordMarch 13, 20220Comments

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Licorice Pizza (2021)::rating::5

L icorice Pizza is an eccentric, shapeless masterpiece. It follows Gary Valentine (Cooper Hoffman), a precocious, entrepreneurial teenager, as he hustles his way through the San Fernando Valley, circa 1973. As Gary bounces from one quirky, cockeyed ambition to the next, the plot bounces with him, like a balloon on a string. The only through line…

ByTodd WoffordMarch 10, 20220Comments