Chinatown (1974)::rating::5::rating::5::rating::5

C hinatown is a gloriously grim masterpiece. It functions both as homage to the film noir heyday of the 1940s, and as a testament to the socio-cultural malaise of Nixonian America. Screenwriter Robert Towne and director Roman Polanski deliver a gripping mystery, an atmospheric period piece, and a low-key character study, all boosted by Oscar-level…

ByTodd WoffordMarch 22, 20230Comments

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Cocaine Bear (2023)::rating::3

A t every raging party, there's always That One Guy. You know him. He's a little bit jittery. A little bit sweaty. There's a big, powdery glob coming out of his nose and Jäegermeister coming out of every pore. He just met you five minutes ago, but goddammit...he loves you, man. At the end of…

ByTodd WoffordMarch 16, 20230Comments

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Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)::rating::3.5

A vatar: The Way of Water is 150 minutes of brawny, exhilarating sci-fi spectacle, splayed over 194 minutes of movie. For every badass action scene and 8K CGI of undulating squid-beasts, we get too many crises, too many characters, and too much dippy narration. As per usual, director James Cameron doesn’t know when his audience…

ByTodd WoffordMarch 11, 20230Comments

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EO (2022)::rating::4.5

O ne of the most remarkable things about EO is how such a passive main character can swell our hearts with empathy. Take the scene where EO the donkey stares out from an opening in a semi’s livestock trailer. At highway speed, he spots a herd of wild horses running wild in a field. That…

ByTodd WoffordMarch 9, 20230Comments

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After Ever Happy (2022)::rating::0.5

Go on. Hurt me.” — Me, as the opening credits rolled. W e’re four movies into this godforsaken franchise, and I know what’s coming. I steel my nerves, like those burly, bearded dudes who take turns slapping each other in tournaments. This one’s gonna smack the fillings out of my teeth, and I’m ready for it.…

ByTodd WoffordMarch 3, 20230Comments

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The Whale (2022)::rating::3.5

M any times during The Whale, the same question popped into my head: What exactly would this movie be without Brendan Fraser? Judged strictly on its own merit, this is an exhausting, dour experience that builds to a muddled and unforgivably mawkish conclusion. My opinion of The Whale is much lower than this star rating suggests.…

ByTodd WoffordMarch 3, 20230Comments

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Women Talking (2022)::rating::3

O f all the films nominated for a Best Picture Oscar this year, Women Talking confounded me the most. On one hand, writer-director Sarah Polley tells a powerful story, pulled from real events. A top-notch cast works with unflinching passion. Still, I admired the pieces of Women Talking more than I actually liked the final product. This…

ByTodd WoffordFebruary 27, 20230Comments

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The King’s Speech (2010)::rating::5

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. This means…if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” — Jerry Seinfeld W hen we meet Prince Albert (Colin Firth), he is terrified, trembling mess. It's 1925, and the Duke of York…

ByTodd WoffordFebruary 24, 20230Comments

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Smile (2022)::rating::3.5

M uch like Taken, the 90s horror flick with Denzel Washington, Smile presents the most terrifying killer imaginable: A virulent, incorporeal monster, traveling invisibly on the breeze. It randomly lights on a victim, cursing them until they either end their life or murder someone else. In their final moments, the afflicted wears the wide, unconvincing smile of…

ByTodd WoffordFebruary 21, 20230Comments

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Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)::rating::2.5

S o many Marvel movies have been made that if you ran a mile for every one, you'd be well into your second marathon by now. That's a long haul, and we haven't even factored in the plethora of tangential shows on Disney+ yet. Now, Quantumania kicks off the next big phase of MCU flicks, complete…

ByTodd WoffordFebruary 17, 20230Comments